Appetizer

A nutritionist in the family.

-Heyeeee! Give me another wine!

-You already have two, Tito.

-AND?

-240 calories. Plus two beers: 480. 

-What are you saying, guy? What are you going to know!

-Home, if there are 7 calories in a gram of alcohol, just know how many grams of alcohol a drink has and multiply it by 7.

-But why are you coming here? To have an appetizer with your friend or to count?

-Appetizer? But, tito, if you don't stop swallowing...

-I?

-Chocolate, pizza, beer, xelaos, jelly beans...

-Don't you say that we are what we eat?

-Yeah.

-Soi, I'm delicious!

-Boo! What you are, man, is an unconscious.

-By?

-Do you know what calories are?

-Yes, ho. They are some bitch daughters who sneak into my closet at night and shrink my clothes.

-But tito...

-My closet is infested!

-Stop thinking and think about the nutritional content of alcohol.

-What what, ho?

-They are empty calories! And then...

-Will you shut up, ho? Yes, heavier than a deaf man with a drum!

-Tito, I...

-Neither tito nor hosts! Yes Sunday, Jose Emilio!

 -And?

-On Sundays, calories don't count!

-Yes, ho. You are handsome…

-I know it.

-You have to exercise and never abandon your diet. At least five apples a day.

-Green or colored?

-Running, tito. In a hurry!

-How are you, ho?

-You have to run a few apple blocks at the foot of the house every morning.

-Running is cowardly, Josín.

-You have to take it seriously.

-The wine? Yes, ho. As soon as they bring it to me.

-You always complain about being overweight and never do anything. 

-Of course not!

-Have you ever burned more than a thousand calories?

-Yeah. Once I forgot the pizza nel fornu.

-Jobar, man, I can't handle you. 

-Well, I...

-And above, the bottles without nutritional labels.

-Do you want to be quiet? Can I ask you for a gadget?

-No joke. Cocktails with sugary sodas are the worst.

-Cagonros! Remind me that -and give a couple of greetings to my brother.

-My dad? Why, ho?

-For forcing yourself to study Nutrition.